So go ahead and excercise it. Meanwhile, I’ll be over here breastfeeding my child. Warning: Rant ahead. If you think breastfeeding is disgusting, now’s the time to keep on surfing right past my blog.
Yesterday on my playgroup board, someone posted the link to this article. A heated debate ensued. First, the article:
Woman kicked off plane for breast-feeding
Files complaint saying she was being discreet, airline disagrees
The Associated Press
Updated: 7:07 p.m. ET Nov 16, 2006BURLINGTON, Vt. – A woman who claims she was kicked off an airplane because she was breast-feeding her baby has filed a complaint against two airlines, her attorney said.
Emily Gillette, 27, of Santa Fe, N.M., filed the complaint with the Vermont Human Rights Commission late last week against Delta Air Lines and Freedom Airlines, said her attorney, Elizabeth Boepple. Freedom was operating the Delta flight between Burlington and New York City.
Gillette said she was discreetly breast-feeding her 22-month-old daughter on Oct. 13 as their flight prepared to leave Burlington International Airport. She said she was seated by the window in the next-to-last row, her husband was seated between her and the aisle and no part of her breast was showing.
A flight attendant tried to hand her a blanket and told her to cover up, Gillette said. She declined, telling the flight attendant she had a legal right to breast-feed her baby.
Moments later, a Delta ticket agent approached and said the flight attendant had asked that the family be removed from the flight, Gillette said. She said she didn’t want to make a scene and complied.
“It embarrassed me. That was my first reaction, which is a weird reaction for doing something so good for a child,” Gillette said Monday.
A Freedom spokesman said Gillette was asked to leave the flight after she declined the blanket.
“A breast-feeding mother is perfectly acceptable on an aircraft, providing she is feeding the child in a discreet way,” that doesn’t bother others, said Paul Skellon, spokesman for Phoenix-based Freedom. “She was asked to use a blanket just to provide a little more discretion, she was given a blanket, and she refused to use it, and that’s all I know.”
A complaint against two airlines was filed with the Vermont Human Rights Commission, although Executive Director Robert Appel said he was barred by state law from confirming the complaint. He said state law allows a mother to breast-feed in public.
The Vermont Human Rights Commission investigates complaints and determines whether discrimination may have occurred. The parties to a complaint are given six months to reach a settlement. If none is reached, the commission then decides whether to go to court. A complainant can file a separate suit in state court at any time.
© 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15720339/?from=ET
Now, I don’t actually breastfeed anymore so I’m not actually over here breastfeeding, but I still remember what it’s like to be a breastfeeding mom and this made me see so many shades of red. In my opinion, a woman should be able to breastfeed in public without fearing she’ll be kicked off an airplane, for God’s sake. As one of the mom’s on our playgroup said:
…she is permitted to BF where ever she is, and has no obligation to be discreet. Not that I’m saying to feed the child with one, and swing the other one around with a tassel or anything, but my goodness it’s just a breast.
Someone wondered why she didn’t just take the blanket. Some of the moms responded that they didn’t think she should have to cover her child. I believe one mom’s response was that she’d have offered to smother the person who wanted her to smother her child, lolol.
My response:
Some children do NOT like to have their heads covered when breastfeeding. Brianna was like this, so I chose not to breastfeed in public for the most part. However, I did breastfeed her on the plane more than once and while I made every effort to be discreet, I would not have reacted well to being handed a blanket. That makes me fairly angry, to think of it, and I am NOT the type of person who just whipped out my boob for breastfeeding. But it’s not just as easy as “covering with a blanket” sometimes, because not all children will “let” you cover their heads. I don’t like to have my head covered with a blanket, why should my child? And that child will let you know it.
It was also stated that “most” people don’t want to have to see that. My response:
I find body odor and strong perfume offensive. I think those things are much more intrusive on a plane than breastfeeding but I don’t recall hearing someone being asked to leave a plane for those reasons. Breastfeeding isn’t hurting anyone and YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOOK. Not so easy to escape an offensive smell. But our society has made the breast such a huge freaking deal, God forbid you use them for what the Lord gave them to you for.
and later
My point is this, yes, some people may be uncomfortable. But there are many things that make me uncomfortable that people don’t get kicked off the plane for: Wearing baggy pants that show their ass crack, not showering, wearing strong perfume, and so on. What makes breastfeeding so special that people who do this should be singled out for the sake of those who are uncomfortable? If we’re going to do that, I should be able to ask all of the above to be kicked off the plane so I don’t have to be uncomfortable any more. But alas, that’s not going to happen, so I tolerate what makes me uncomfortable. But apparently, breastfeeding is a special circumstance and should be singled out as more offensive than the other “offenses”.
Further discussion was made about the child’s age. In my reality, it’s none of your business how old my child is, and she was still under two but I presented this, though no one took up the arguement. *sigh*
And for arguement’s sake, I’m going to throw this out there. Several of you mentioned the baby’s age. Let’s say–again, for arguement’s sake since we don’t know the circumstances–that the 22 month old was fussy. Anyone who’s ever traveled can attest that not only is it not fun traveling WITH a fussy child, it’s no fun sitting near them.
So what if, instead of having a screaming, whining, fussy kid on her hands, this woman chose to breastfeed instead, to keep the child calm and not subject herself or others to hysterics. Are you telling me it’s better for all involved for her to NOT breastfeed, so as not to make anyone uncomfortable, and instead let the child cry, fuss, scream, whatever and really annoy people?
So I’m curious to hear opinions from people not on my playgroup, since we are obviously a group of moms, most either stay-at-home or work-at-home, so our views are more likely to be skewed in favor of the breastfeeding woman. Anyone think the airline did the right thing? Even though I disagree with you, I promise I’ll still respect you in the morning!***
And for what it’s worth, follow up articles: Moms stage a “nurse in” at Delta
MSNBC Discussion board on whether Delta did the right thing
vote on whether moms should nurse in public
***For the sake of discussion, I’m just going to “pretend” that this story happened exactly as written *snort*. There’s no need to remind me that Delta may have removed her from the plane for other reasons. Let’s just assume that she was removed because she was breastfeeding and wouldn’t use the blanket.
I think it’s ridiculous that she was kicked off the plane.
The rest of what I think includes too many swear words.
I agree with you and your group, Angie. Of course, I am a mom, and breastfed in public, so I’m already biased, but geez, WTF?
This was posted on my moms/playgroup board. Pretty moronic. Im guessing (purely speculating) that it had more to do with the fact the child was “older” than a mere infant.
:fuckwit:
I don’t understand why people don’t just LOOK AWAY. It’s not like BFing moms are standing over the offended people shoving their baby and boob in their face. It’s a mentality I just don’t get. Of course, I admit to being the type of person who whipped it out whenever, wherever. I figured if Lindsey Lohan can show off her crotch, my boob is okay too
The thing about airlines, and I want to say that I am in no means an expert, is that everything they do is at their discretion. All done under the guise of their need to make all passengers comfortable. If I agree with the story as it is laid out before me the whole blanket issue doesn’t wash for me.
I for one breastfed both of my sons and see no harm in doing what comes naturally. The fact that some flight attendent felt the need to cause such a fuss amazes me.
Let’s be honest here and really question who could have seen this woman feeding her child. She was in the next to last row of an airplane in the window seat with a full grown man next to her.
To actually see her feeding this child a person would have to be craning their neck around her husband to see her if they were in the isle or leaning over the seat in front of her to get a good look at what she was doing. If the second case is true than I would question the airlines ability to ensure the passengers are all strapped in, but that is another debate all together.
The last thing I will say here is this when I get on a plane the last thing I’m doing is watching the activities of other passengers. I’m trying to shove my carryone in the overhead compartment and find my seat. After that I’m pretty much just reading and waiting for the plane to take off. Obviously some people aren’t happy unless they are complaining about others.
I sure hope she wins her suit.
I’m currently breastfeeding my seventh child, who is 11 months old, and I normally wean around 2.
I’ve beastfed in the mall, at the auto store, you name it. I’ve used a sling since the first hatchling (who is now 16) and that made it easier to breastfeed without covering their faces, because my kids would just play peek a boo with the blankets.
I’ve had people CRANE thir necks to catch a glimpse of about an inch worth of skin. No nipples, nothing but a peek of skin. And I’m right with ya, we deal with offensiveness all day in other forms.
This country is so anal about breastfeeding. Really. If you look at paintings of medieval women their breasts were completely exposed. And they were more about covering up than we are!
I think it’s all tied in with this bizarre affair we have with sexuality. We say we are free and open, and by the looks of our advertising and sex industry you would think it true, and then something like this happens and you realize how warped it all is.
Wow, Eva, I thought I did pretty good with one child! 7 children…2 years of nursing each…you’ve been breastfeeding for 14 years! Holy moses (I almost said holy cow and then realized how that might sound, lolol). That’s impressive!
I breastfed all three of my kids to about a year old. I tried the blanket thing a few times, but they were more likely to yank it off or do the peekaboo thing, which (IMHO) drew *more* attention to the situation.
Another thing that grossed me out is, how clean was that blanket? With all the cost-cutting measures they have on airlines nowadays, do you honestly think they sterilize those things after every flight? I mean, really — would you want to put a community-property airline blanket over your face, let alone your child’s? :sigh:
What I find so ridiculous is that a woman can be sitting on that same plane with her breasts hanging out of her blouse and that’s acceptable but a woman feeding her child is seen as disgusting. Our priorities are messed up. I’ve been asked to go feed my babies in bathrooms! People can use the muscles in their necks and turn their eyes away if they’re so disgusted.
Though I’m a mom to a child who will be two next month, I’ve never breastfed. I was even chased off a an in-vitro fertilization board because I wasn’t giving my child the “gift of my breast milk”. I was bullied by no less than the entire board, throwing accusations such as that I was “force-feeding” my child formula simply because I won’t allow my breasts to be used by child to feed.
How about no.
To be personal, I have breast implants. My “friends” on this board knew that and knew that was the reason I didn’t want to breastfeed. I didn’t want someone to find out that microscopic fibers of silicone might shed from my implant and seep into my milk-duct and hurt Jesse later on in life. Not saying that’s so. Just saying that was what I was worried about when I made my decision not to breastfeed. Nevertheless, I was told i was taking the “easy way out” and “abusing Jesse with formula”. This, from women I’d known for three years, who’d held my hand through two cycles of IVF. One which failed. Their heartlessness is something I’ll never forget.
That was my experience with breastfeeding moms. Not a nice one, to be sure. So, I think when I read about a woman refusing to accept a blanket, I think of those women and I have to ask…what was wrong with having her husband holding the blanket up to offer them a bit more privacy? True, it’s only a breast. We all have them. And yes, Angie, stench is SO much more offensive (*shiver* I’ll take an exposed boob over BO every time! LOL). The woman should not have gotten kicked off the plane. That was just plain stupid. I guess I’m just wondering why the big deal either way when it comes to breastfeeding? If a woman doesn’t breastfeed, many breastfeeding moms go ballistic about it. If a woman does breastfeed, society goes ballistic if she dares to do it in public. Whatever happened to a happy medium?
I was never able to breastfeed. So I am one of those that never reached a comfort level with breastfeeding. To be completely honest, if you and me were sitting and talking and you needed to feed Brianna right there in front of me, I would be uncomfortable. But that’s just me and my hang ups. I wouldn’t deny you your right to do it, and I wouldn’t try and make you uncomfortable about it. I’d just be making relentless eye contact in fear of actually seeing your boob. I know, I’m weird.
And it’s not that I’m offended by boobs. I happen to like boobs. I guess it’s out of respect to you and your privacy that I don’t want you to think I’m ogling you.
During the brief span I was in the hospital and actually breastfeeding (or thinking I was) my minister visited unannounced. I had the boob out and I was damned if I was going to put it away for him.
So you can see, I can be ornery both ways.
Well as a nursing Mom to an eight month old baby boy (and the third child I have nursed) I am appalled. I have posted this on my personal blog http://bareessensuals.blogspot.com/ rather than my writing blog because I have a lot of friends that will be interested in this issue. Some of whom are La Leche league (sp?) members. Angie – I hope you don’t mind that I copied the article and links over.
As I say on my blog I am one who breaks out in a nervous sweat nursing in public anyway. I am just not good at it but I do it because it is best for my child (Rene – you did what you thought was best for your child, given the circumstances and I am sorry your IVF board was so hard on you. Mothers are some of the worst judges of other mothers imo). It is no wonder I get nervous with crap like this going on. I would have been mortified if I got kicked off a plane. I have enough trouble in restaurants when I get dirty looks from other customers and I am using a cover!
And I meant you and I.
Sheesh, so much pressure commenting on an editor’s blog.
Rene, so sorry you were chewed up by Militant Lactators. That just sucks. They scared me, so I never joined any of their groups. I was accosted early on and then just nursed under the radar.
Hugs to Rene!
I breastfed by 2 1/2 year old for about 3 months after his birth. Not because I didn’t want to continue for a longer period of time but because of low milk production and latching issues. That said, I never breastfed in public.
Before I became a mother, I often wondered why women didn’t take their child to the restroom to breastfeed. Now, I’m fairly certain I’d do whatever it took to make my child happy — boobs in the bra or out.
I have to go with those who said that they might not be thrilled with having an airline blanket on their little one’s head. I also agree that it probably would be rather hard to see someone in an airplane row, unless they were really looking. People seem to have a real fascinated/repelled thing with bf’ing. They can’t help but stare. I wonder if anyone was really bothered, or if it was just the Flight Attendant’s issue. No matter what, it’s just feeding your kid, though, and people should be able to MYOB.
But Moms are the biggest judges of other Moms for sure. It stinks what happened to Rene. I live in an area where few people seem to bf, and I was told several times how gross it was, and what it was going to do to my breasts etc. It pisses me off beyond belief, because with all the other judging of moms and their decisions going on (see Linda Hirshmann and that article in Forbes (?)), moms should band together against the real enemy–the media and their “Mommy Wars” crap. That’s my big, slightly psycho beef. Everybody’s got to do what’s best for them and their family.
Breastfed three kids, each for more than a year. (I actually don’t quite remember how old second child was when he weaned. Hmm.)
I tried to be discrete with child number one, but I’m really too clumsy to pull it off. Furthermore, I leak like a hydrant. I’m one of those who can soak left breast pad while nursing from right. So I got in the habit of nursing one breast for about five seconds to reduce the leaking, and then switching to the other breast for about five minutes, then back to orginal, etc. That means unbuttoning, flipping the kid to the other hip, rearranging the blanket, etc. I just was never able to pull off modesty well. But I did try. (As I think this woman did by choosing the last row of the plane.)
My husband was SO ready to get up in someone’s face about public breastfeeding during all their infanthoods, but he never got the chance. He said he was mildly disappointed when the last one was weaned because he had his speech all planned. I told him to save it for whe none of his daughters got razzed in public.
The thing about the “modesty issue”? What are people goggling at? There’s like an inch of skin and a baby’s mouth. I don’t get it.