16 Responses to “Insidious and pervasive”

  1. Megan May 13, 2008 at 12:53 PM #

    Nope. This morning my son said “If I was to stay home, for any reason (his knee hurt. Whatever), the first thing I would do is read ‘A Birthday Present for Mama.'”

    I felt really guilty my first thought was, ‘hell, no, you are not staying home.’

    Megans last blog post..Mother’s Day Post-Nappem

  2. Michelle (MG) May 13, 2008 at 1:24 PM #

    Short answer? No. All the other mom’s help out in the Kindergarten class, but because I also have a 2 year old it’s not as easy for me. I like to do the reading with the kids, but #3 child just gets into too much. And when my oldest was in Kindergarten I had #2. So, #3 will probably be my only child who gets me as a helper in Kindergarten, because there will be no #4! LOL

    Michelle (MG)s last blog post..TRS Studio Diva – Round #1

  3. Kate Davies May 13, 2008 at 2:15 PM #

    Sadly, no. I’m staring down the last week and a half of preschool and weighing it against the projects I need to get done before child #3 is home for the summer, and my one thought when the teacher mentioned the summer birthday party they’re having next Tuesday was, “Oh, dear God, please don’t tell me you’re inviting parents.”

    I love all my children dearly but I’m so looking forward to all of them being in school full time next year.

    Kate Daviess last blog post..Book BIN Tuesday — Cowboy Games

  4. Heidi May 13, 2008 at 2:21 PM #

    I’m so with you on this one…
    Today J’s daycare went to a little show. When she got into the car at lunch and I asked her how it was, she sighed and shrugged and said, “It was good Mommy. It’s a pity you didn’t come. Shira’s mommy came.”
    They know all the right buttons to push, don’t they?
    Thing is, they only allow one parent to come along on these kinds of trips and there’s always a fight between the parents as to who goes…I guess I need to fight harder?

    Heidis last blog post..Byte Marks releases today

  5. Lesley May 13, 2008 at 2:47 PM #

    I am with you on the Mommy Guilt! My little dude has been trying to convince me ALL day to play with him, but I’ve got so much to do for work that I just haven’t been able to. Despite his MANY, MANY “What cha doin, Mommy?”‘s This guilt is made all the worse by the fact that his status as only child is drawing QUICKLY to a close.

    Lesleys last blog post..The conversation that has taken place 500 times today…

  6. Susan Helene Gottfried May 13, 2008 at 4:36 PM #

    Hmm. I’m the minority, apparently.

    I think I stopped feeling the guilt when I realized that my kids are oftentimes better when I’m not around. They’ll cling to me and whine — but they won’t cling to someone else’s mom and whine. (My daughter moreso than my son) They have more fun when they’re out from under Mom’s watchful eye.

    And, too, at some point, we have to let them have experiences without us around. We DO have lives independent of our kids and when we get a chance to live them, we are better parents.

    It’s a tough shift, but it’s also a lot of fun when they get home and tell you all about it and you get to see the event through their eyes.

    Susan Helene Gottfrieds last blog post..Susan’s Book Talk: Colette Gale’s Master

  7. Dana Marie Bell May 13, 2008 at 5:16 PM #

    Mommy guilt stinks, doesn’t it? Our school actively discourages moms from bringing their babies and toddlers to certain events. The young ones are seen as a distraction. And I can understand that. Even if I get big puppy-dog eyes for not showing up to something. (The puppy-dog eyes get me every time, too. :waah:)

    If they think I’ve done enough work for the day, though? They’ll turn my office chair around and wheel me out of the room, giggling all the way.

  8. Anne May 13, 2008 at 6:23 PM #

    Not even when they’re 16 and 18. It’s always there. I still feel guilty for not being able to go on my youngest son’s fourth grade trip to The Marsh. Yes, six years later the guilt is still strong. Sigh. If you’ve got a cure for guilt, please send it my way.

    Annes last blog post..Don’t Forget!

  9. Annmarie May 13, 2008 at 9:17 PM #

    My mama still feels guilty about stuff from our childhood that she wishes she had done better. We turned out ok. *I* don’t pour on the guilt. My baby brother on the other hand…

    Annmaries last blog post..Busy Day Today

  10. Rose Garrison May 13, 2008 at 9:37 PM #

    We are all pathetic aren’t we? My boys are 18 and 21. I still worry,have angst and *dun dun dun* GUILT.

    I’m certain my 18 year old, who’s graduating from high school in a few weeks, was getting a ‘D’ and had an academic warning sent home because I didn’t read enough to him when he was 5. Right? It’s not the essay he tells me (just today) that he “forgot” to turn in.

    Rose Garrisons last blog post..Dinner

  11. Jana J. Hanson May 13, 2008 at 10:17 PM #

    Mommy guilt is the worst! Ugh.

    Then again, when I’m in my son’s presence, I’m all he sees. He can’t concentrate on having a good time (or whatever) because he’s checking to make certain I haven’t disappeared.

  12. Angie May 13, 2008 at 10:33 PM #

    Well, I guess I’m glad to know I’m not alone in my suffering 😉 but I’m not all that glad to hear it goes on into their twenties! Ack!

  13. Devra Renner May 14, 2008 at 9:30 AM #

    Our society has become so overscheduled anyone who answers “no” is treated to a heavy dose of guilt; Whether it be internally driven or externally driven. It’s just there. For me, I try to keep in mind that when I say “no” there is a commonsensical reason, and I can defend it. My “no” isn’t just a knee jerk response and I explain this to my kids as best I can for the ages they are. As my kids get older, they’ll understand it more too.

  14. Chris Redding May 15, 2008 at 6:47 PM #

    I don’t have too much guilt.
    My mother was an alcoholic and by not being that I’m a way better mother than she was.
    Any time one of my friends feels like a bad mommy I trot out a mother story and they feel soooo much better.
    Angie, feel free to e-mail me privately next time you have one of those days.

  15. RC May 19, 2008 at 5:47 PM #

    I experience it frequently. Lots of it frequently.

    I’ve been assured, from my mom, that it goes nowhere.


    RCs last blog post..Top searches

  16. Jill Sorenson May 22, 2008 at 6:16 PM #

    Mommy guilt. I know it well. I actually went on a class field trip to the Aquarium this week and spent half the time trying to shush my screaming toddler, the other half scolding my overeager preschooler.

    Trying to do the right thing, and ending up with mommy guilt anyway? Sucks.

About Me

Angela James

There is nothing worse than writing a bio. And writing one for your blog sidebar? Blech. Maybe you landed here via Google, followed me from Twitter (does that make you a stalker?) or maybe we met at a conference or you clicked a link from a comment I made at a blog you visited. Hopefully whatever I said didn't make you so mad you came looking for a picture to throw darts at (yep, that's me up above, in my favorite cowboy hat) but instead drove you to find out more about the amazingly witty and intelligent person behind the amazingly witty and intelligent comment.

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