Two weeks ago I advertised I was doing Golden Heart critiques for a fee. The response was somewhat overwhelming (and flattering) and I had a number of aspiring authors contract with me for Golden Heart critiques. But I also had someone, who wishes to remain anonymous, who felt the fee for the critique might have been a barrier for some writers out there who might have liked to utilize my services. So she generously donated the fee and I’m going to use this post to give away that critique she paid for.
The rules:
1. You must be entering the Golden Hearts this year. Please don’t try to enter to win a free critique of a work in progress that you have no intention of entering into the GHs this year. Clearly, I have no way of knowing this except the honor system, but I’m okay with that.
2. You must promise to pass it on in some way in the future. When or how in the future is up to you. I’m not going to follow up, but again, I’m just going to have faith that you’ll pass on the act of generosity in whatever way you’re able.
3. In the comments below, please paste the first line, and only the first line of your GH manuscript, along with the genre of your book. That’s it. I may choose the line/genre I love the best or I may let random.org do the deciding for me.
I’ll leave entries open until Friday, October 30th and will choose the winner by Monday. Contest is open to everyone who plans on entering the Golden Hearts this year and would like the chance to get a critique before entering. The winner will need to check back on Monday to see if they’ve won. I’ll have you contact me at that time. For the critique itself, the winner will need to send me their complete Golden Heart entry of no more than 55 pages and I will return it by mid-November.
Questions and entries should be made in the comments of this post. Good luck and thank you to the anonymous benefactor. Your generosity is so appreciated.
Genre: Single Title
Riley Randals pulled her black Corvette into her driveway, then stopped singing mid-chorus and pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head.
Genre: YA
Ronnie silenced the chirping phone on his hip without bothering to check to see who it was.
Genre: Paranormal romance
My skin tingles a moment before a slash of white light flashes at the front of the lecture hall.
Genre: YA
I woke up to the smell of Lysol and the end of the world.
Genre : Young Adult
Being afraid all the time sucks.
(That was incredibly nice of someone to pay for a crit for someone else. Whoever the anon benefactor is – many, many thanks for your generosity. )
When I walk into the bungalow forty-five minutes late, Mom’s not singing or dancing or trying on new costumes.
YA
Genre: Urban Fantasy w/Strong Romantic Elements
Casey Jackson hated sex dreams. The tossing and turning, writhing and moaning, the all-knowing black hands touching every inch of her body made her crazy.
genre: steampunk YA
Whatever happened, she could not allow them to catch her and not a single drop of her blood could spill upon the ground.
(thank you for doing this and thank you to the generous donor)
genre: steampunk paranormal
My skirts rustled and I shifted my weight as I continued to keep watch on the silent street below with not even a gargoyle to talk to.
Genre: Paranormal Romance (Futuristic)
“Dawson,” the dispatcher’s voice crackled through the car radio, “the fire jumped the line.”
Genre: Series Cont
Catching a whiff of smoke, Amanda Morgan’s nose wrinkled.
Genre: upper YA urban fantasy
A turbulent storm raged as the rain whipped through the air with a vengeance, but the ominous feeling in the pit of my stomach warned of something more frightening than just the weather.
* Thank you (both) so much for doing this
)
Genre: YA
Fern plucked the thermometer from her mother’s lips and sagged back on her heels beside the couch.
Thank you so much for this offer!
Genre: Paranormal ( Futuristic Fantasy)
“Quin, my boy, that was a mistake.”
Again, thank, you.
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Here our line in its finest hour; Will meet darkness in all his power.
My fingers were too fast on the submit button – I also meant to say thank you to whomever donated the fee, for the opportunity and the gesture. Even if I don’t win this particular contest, I think I will ‘pay it forward’ anyway. What a great way to make someone’s day.
Genre: Series Contemporary
The stick was pink.
Thank you (both of you) for this opportunity!
Genre : YA Paranormal
All around the small, dingy office I stepped into, stacks of loose papers, file folders, and pamphlets threatened to topple to the floor.
Thanks for the opportunity Angela and anonymous donator. And Good Luck to all the entrants, both here and in the GH.
Genre: Dark thriller with romantic elements
I stopped caring 368 scratch marks ago, but something compels me to keep track of the days.
Thanks so much–to both you and the generous donor!
Genre: Romantic Suspense
I should have locked the door.
(What a kind and thoughtful gesture on the anon. donor’s part and your willingness to share your expertise.)
Genre: YA (with hint of magical realism)
My eyes weld shut and I drop down beside her huddled body.
–
Angela and Donor – thank you both for this opportunity.
Also, good luck to all entering GH!
Genre: Historical YA
Had Victoria Aston known when she awoke that in a few short hours she would be crouching behind the prickliest bramble bush in Hampshire, mud-splattered and tear-stained, she might have decided to sleep through breakfast.
(Thanks so much to both of you for this opportunity!)
genre- romantic suspense
The squeaky wheels rolling along the cement floor told Carl it was almost noon.
*Thanks so much!
If I can somehow finagle it, I’d like to enter two manuscipts for GH. The following is from my other GH project:
Genre: YA (Contemporary Fantasy)
Change, like moving water, was a good thing – she had heard that all her life.