I see anxiety ramping up for RWA Nationals and it’s enough to make ME nervous for all those people who are letting their nerves get the best of them. Nationals can be a frantic, fast-paced conference for some but it can also be not only a lot of fun, but an incredible source of energy that will help you remember why you love writing and give you a ton of motivation to get back to your keyboard and get back to work. But in all the things people are talking about doing for preparing for #rwa12, the manicures, the visits to the salon, the party dresses and the right shoes, there’s a few key things that you should remember about this conference, and any other.
1) When next week is over, and we’re all back doing a postmortem of the conference, nobody will remember if you had your nails or hair done, or if your shoes perfectly matched your dress. But they will remember if you got completely trashed and made a fool of yourself. This is a fun conference, but it’s also a professional conference. Don’t let the heady excitement of being out with your peers and away from the husband and kids make you forget that you’re still at a professional conference, and you don’t want anyone’s most vivid memory of you to be puking in a trash can, stumbling to your room, or screaming at the barstaff for not getting your next drink to you quickly enough (I’ve witnessed all of these things at conferences). Moderation. If you drink, do it in moderation, pace yourself, drink things that aren’t 3 shots of alcohol at once, drink lots of water in between and at all times, be sensible!
2) You’ll get out of the conference what you put into it. You’d be surprised at how many people you’re jealous of for having a great time, holding avid conversations with others or seeming to be everywhere at once are really closet introverts. Many of them are putting themselves way beyond their comfort zone in order to get the most out of the conference and you may have to do that as well. Introduce yourself to people, attend lots of workshops–not only are they amazing in helping grow your writing, but you can make contacts just by chatting up the person next to you in the workshop before and after! Get out of your room, ask the people you do know to introduce you to people you don’t know, sit at the bar by yourself (I meet a LOT of people this way) and chat up the person next to you if they’re wearing an RWA badge and don’t seem to be engaged in doing anything else. There are so many things you can do to make this experience not only fun, but professionally worthwhile. But only you can make yourself do these things. Now is not the time to let shyness or lack of confidence get the best of you.
3) Editors and agents are just people too. We’re not mythical creatures. We don’t hold the sum total of your career in our hands. We’re not all powerful or all knowing or all anything (sorry to bust through any illusions!) We’re just people. So if you have a pitch appointment, it’s okay to be nervous, but not so nervous that you make yourself sick. Look, the worst you’re going to hear is no, but you’re likely to hear it pretty kindly. And no, while not what you want to hear, doesn’t mean your career is over, it just means you move on to the next choice, work harder, keep networking, attend the workshops to grow your craft and hey, keep moving forward because you will be published! In addition to all that, even if you don’t have pitch appointments, it’s okay to talk to us (just don’t talk at us). If you like our books, our blog, our Twitter, if you just want to say thanks for a personal rejection, or introduce yourself because you’ll be submitting in the future…those are all perfectly okay as long as you don’t a) do it in the bathroom (I’ve actually had people wait for me outside the bathroom so they don’t do it in the bathroom, lolol) and b) interrupt a 1:1 conversation. Don’t interrupt a one-on-one conversation. But if it looks like we’re in a big group at the bar, just chatting, it’s generally okay to just approach for a quick intro or minute or two of convo. It’s actually hard to find us when we’re not in convo, eh?
And even though I said it was only 3, there’s one last thing I want you to remember as you proceed to Nationals: Voices carry. Stories travel. People remember. Don’t say or do anything while you’re with a friend, at the conference hotel, at a local restaurant, or even at Disneyland, that you wouldn’t want everyone to hear. Be discreet, because you never know who’s sitting next to you, walking by your hotel room (hey, you really can hear conversations through the door!) or standing in line behind you. And not only that, be polite. The “anonymous” person you’re rude to might be the managing editor of the publisher you just signed with (yeah, that’s happened too! Not to me but…remember how I said stories travel?)
So there you have it, my tips for the most important things (okay, what I think are the most important things) to remember as you make your way to conference. Don’t let your nerves get the best of you now, because you’re going to have an amazing time & you’ll wonder later why you worked yourself up so much!
If you have other tips that you’d like to share, please feel free to do so in the comments. I’d love to hear them. There’s always something more to learn about getting the most out of conference!
Great advice, Angela! This is my first RWA conference, so I’m pretty excited.
Thanks for the encouragement!
Great advice! I’ll tell a story about being nice. I’m a nurse. One night a patient requested that the nurse assigned to her be switched for another nurse. The reason? The patient worked in a restaurant and had seen the nurse on several occasions be rude to the wait staff.
It doesn’t cost anything extra to just be polite and nice.
Very good advice for *any* conference!
Thanks for the tips! This is my first time going to Nationals (or, well, ANY conference) so I’d a tad nervous. :-/
Awesome advice, Angela!!
This is my first RWA–but I’d love to chime in on #2 and #3 (can’t say much on #1 since I don’t really drink.) I’m a natural introvert! I hate walking up to people I don’t know–and I’ve noticed, as an editor, that people will hesitate to talk to me. But I want to talk to people and meet authors. I want to know what you’re working on and just get to know you in general!
Randomly, I’ve met so many authors at the hotel bathroom’s sink while washing my hands. A great way to start a conversation? Just compliment the person next to you. At RT, someone complimented my fascinator and it turned out to be Sabrina Jeffries! Amazing!
Most importantly, just be yourself and RELAX. You are a likable person just as you are and people respond best to sincerity and genuine interest. Don’t try too hard. And buy the person behind you in line at Starbucks a coffee! Random acts of kindness are the best when you are travelling.
Carry business cards. Give them all out. Take in as many as you can, and write on the back something about the person so you’ll remember who they are. When you get home in the next week, contact those people. Email them. Follow them on twitter, or on facebook. This is networking, folks – and if you don’t follow up, you’re missing the boat. I know – I went for YEARS without following up! (Bad me.)
My goal is to give out 250 business cards at Nationals this year (with close to 2000 people attending, I think I’ll manage it!). And if you don’t have any business cards yet, no worries – Staples can help you, and they can do it in one day.
And have a great time! I still remember my first conference in Denver, 2002; what a wonderful jolt to the system!
Come up and talk to me if you need a friend – I’ve got really short, electric-red hair right now (my hairdresser got way excited, lol) so I’ll be hard to miss!
My tip is to take business cards, and hand them out. My goal is to talk to enough different people to give away 250 business cards this year – that’s to almost 10% of the conference population. If you don’t have business cards, Staples can do them in a day.
Also ask for business cards, and when you get one, write down a little about the person you’re talking to so you’ll remember them. When you get home, follow up – either via email, or on twitter and facebook. Network. Don’t let those amazing connections languish in your suitcase, unpacked.
And if you need a friendly face, look for me – I’ve got really short, electric red hair (my hairdresser went a little crazy) and I’ll have a stack of business cards in my hand. (No, I won’t…probably, lol!)
Have fun!
Sorry for the double post – it died on me, I swear! *headdesk* Angela – please rescue me and delete one of those, lol! Sigh…
Thanks for sharing. I started to get some mild anxiety about all the primp and pamper buzz going in Twittersphere. I’ll be the one w/out the pedicure and highlights if anyone wants to say hi
At least I can promise not to yell embarrassing things, or throw up on an agent while stalking them to the bathroom!
I’m not going to RWA this year — because I’m not emotionally mature enough to work up a big crowd, I’m too shy, too too anxious, I’d get eaten up, or, worse, I’d babble, and make a fool out of myself — but I’m bookmarking for next year. Hopefully, I’ll make it to Atlanta and this will be sooo useful
)))
Barbie, why don’t you start with a smaller writers’ conference if you are nervous? A lot of local chapters have them and they have 100 or 200 people, much more manageable. Just a thought so you can ease yourself into it with less stress
Barbie, I second Caroline’s comment. Plus room with a friend. It’s a really nice way get familiar with the conference world, and you have someone to buddy up with, too.
Great advice. I’ll be there with business cards, and I’m excited to meet people I know from my writing forums, twitter or facebook.