I have to take a moment to send a very excited congratulations to my friend Shannon who found out today that her manuscript was accepted by Ellora’s Cave. Shannon will soon be able to refer to herself as a Published Author 😉
I have only recently gotten to know Shannon but her wit, sarcasm, and zest for life shine through loud and clear in every communication. I can only imagine that her book is going to be a fantastically fun read.
The New York Times had a fascinating story today on the ‘new fad’ of parents blogging. While I realized I was following a fad when I started this blog (and felt no shame about it!) I didn’t realize quite how popular it was among parents. I mean, I read Dooce.com and have seen a few other parenting blogs in my recent blog hopping, but I didn’t realize how many there were (oh great, more blogs to occupy my time…)
Here are some bits from the article:
Today’s parents – older, more established and socialized to voicing their emotions – may be uniquely equipped to document their children’s’ lives, but what they seem most likely to complain and marvel about is their own. The baby blog in many cases is an online shrine to parental self-absorption.
Wow. That seems kind of harsh. “parental self-absorption?” Is it self absorbed to want to do something that helps you maintain your sanity and your perspective? Or is it bad for your kids to have a parent who’s not a total nutjob? Maybe you’re forcing them to lead a more boring life by trying to hold on to your sanity, in which case, yeah, I guess it is pretty selfish.
I would love to be able to articulate how wrong I think that statement is. Parenting is such an intertwining of your life with your child/ren’s that to try to discuss one and not the other would be nearly impossible. Doesn’t how your marriage is working, what’s gone on in your day, how you’re feeling- don’t all those things affect your child/ren?
And anyway, it’s my blog, I’ll damn well write about whatever I want! LOL!
“People who get married, especially people in their 30’s, and then have kids, are used to being the center of attention,” said Jennifer Weiner, whose candid, motherhood-theme Web log, Snarkspot (jenniferweiner.blogspot.com), led to her novel, “Little Earthquakes,” a tale of four new mothers. The blogs, she said, are “a primal scream that says, ‘Hey, I may have a kid, but I’m still here, too.’ ”
Daniel J. Siegel, a psychiatrist on the faculty of the Center for Culture, Brain and Development at the University of California, Los Angeles, and co-author of “Parenting From the Inside Out,” said that what is being expressed in these Web sites “is the deep, evolutionarily acquired desire to rise above invisibility, something parents experience all the time.” He explained, “You want to be seen not just by the baby whose diaper you’re changing, but by the world.”
Well, I guess I can’t really argue with that or disagree that I’m different. After all, my very first entry was about being Brianna’s Mommy and the loss of identity I’ve felt. But I don’t think it’s that I’m invisible, just that how people see me has changed. I believe they- meaning everyone from my husband, in-laws, parents, and friends- see me as Brianna’s mom first. I think they’ve kind of forgotten that I was an interesting person before I had her!
Heather B. Armstrong of Salt Lake City credits her blog, Dooce.com, with saving her sanity, if not her life. When it began in February 2001, Dooce was a collection of anecdotes about Ms. Armstrong’s single life in Los Angeles, with provocative entries like “The Proper Way to Hate a Job” and “Dear Cranky Old Bitch Who Cut in Front of Me at Canter’s Deli.” After someone sent an unsigned, untraceable e-mail message about Ms. Armstrong’s blog to her company’s board in 2002, she was promptly dismissed, and “Dooced” entered Urbandictionary.com as a term for “Losing your job for something you wrote in your online blog, journal, Web site, etc.”
And doesn’t that just suck? The good news is that no one can fire me from my job just for blogging about it. Well, I guess Josh could try and fire me, but I don’t see that happening because I know HE doesn’t want my job. And besides, I’m sure Brianna would stage her own protest. And believe me, when she protests, people listen!
“A blog like this is narcissism in its most obscene flowering,” she [Ayelet Waldman, whose blog, Bad Mother (bad-mother.blogspot.com), describes life at home with her four young children and her husband, Michael Chabon, the novelist.] said. “But it’s necessary. As a parent your days are consumed by other people’s needs. This is payback for driving back and forth to gymnastics all week long.”
Huh. “narcissism in its most obscene flowering”? I just wonder how long she spent trying to get those words exactly right (I think she should have taken a few more days to think it over). Uhhh… sounds like an oddly disgusting(I have all these horrible visuals) way of saying the worst example of self-absorption. I wonder if she even knows what she meant or if she just thought it sounded good?
But perhaps all the online venting and hand-wringing is actually helping the bloggers become better parents and better human beings. Perhaps what these diaries provide is “a way of establishing an alternate identity that makes parenting more palatable,” said Meredith W. Michaels, a philosophy professor at Smith College and the co-author of “The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined All Women.” “You’re turning your life into a story that helps answer the question, ‘Why on earth am I doing this?’ ”
Yeah. What she said. (But that doesn’t mean I’m going to buy her book. The title’s a bit intimidating, isn’t it?)
All in all, the article was interesting, not award winning material by any means, and pretty close to being outright crap in places (some of the quotes in the article made me say “Oh Puh-leaassee!”) And who ends an article with this?
And of course the more parents blog, the less likely they are to get the attention and validation they seem to crave. “If every parent in the world has a blog, then maybe it really will be about the child rather than the parent,” Ms. Waldman said. “Because at that point the child is the only one who’s going to read it.”
Uhh…at the beginning of the article they estimated 8500 parent blogs. Every parent in the world? Oh Puh-leaassee!
Well, it’s that weekend again. The one where the Speed Channel shows the Barret-Jackson Auction being held in Scottsdale, Arizona. Also known at my house as “The Auction of Cars I Will Never Be Able To Afford in This Lifetime. Unless My Wife Divorces Me, Marries A Rich Guy, and Keeps Me on the Side… Hey Honey!!”
So they’re auctioning off all these pretty cars with their shiny tires (a-hem, excuse me, rims) and gleaming hoods and I’m left wondering who has the money to pay 250,000 dollars for a car. And then it happens. A couple of maniacs, yes certifiably insane nutcases, start bidding. And bidding. And the car (who knows what kind but I can tell you it was gold- no not solid gold or made of gold or even trimmed in gold, though you’d think so from the price- but the color gold) the car sells for THREE FREAKING MILLION DOLLARS!! And you know where it’s going. To a car museum.
Now, I want to know. First, who spends 3 million dollars on a car? Second, who in the HELL spends 3 million dollars on a car!!
*hopping up on soapbox*
Does anyone out there know how much food 3 million dollars will buy for those starving children in Ethiopia? Oh wait… for those survivors of The Tsunami? How many dogs, cats, other animals lives could be saved or made more comfortable? How many college educations for underprivileged children. Does anyone know how many books three million dollars will buy for a broke stay at home mom???
How can anyone, and I do mean anyone, justify spending three million dollars on a car? It’s just not right. We have become a de-sensitized, greedy, capitalistic, litigious society. Who decides that a car, a car for Pete’s sake, is worth three million dollars? By God, this thing had better be able to sprout wings and fly me to the moon for that kind of money. Did I mention it sold for three million dollars (and I’m not saying that in the cute Mike Myers/Dr. Evil kind of way but more in the pissed off wife whose husband went out to buy diapers and came home with a Hustler magazine instead kind of voice) (*didn’t really happen but you can imagine that tone of voice*)
*climbing the ladder down off soapbox*
What’s the point of the tale? Oh, so, if you see a gold car driving down the street, you can jump out in front of it and sue the bastard for all he’s worth, because he can afford it, and if he can’t, well, who cares if his wife and kids get thrown out of their home? It’s not your problem! He hit you! And then make sure you sell your story to The National Enquirer- no sense letting the story of how the 3 Million Dollar Car ruined your sex life go unpublished. I mean, they pay for those things, right?
So I didn’t get to blog yesterday and almost didn’t today either. Whoever says that stay at home moms don’t have anything to do but sit around, watch soaps, eat bon-bons, and read smutty romance novels, has obviously never actually held this job. Or if they did, they had a housekeeper, a chef, a nanny, a butler, a personal assistant, and a chauffer helping them out.
Yesterday I swung by WalMart and Barnes and Noble. While at WalMart, I broke down and bought Stella, Get Your Man by Nancy Bartholomew even though I wasn’t crazy about the first one. I also got Deadly Illusions by Brenda Joyce which I was very excited about. I know a lot of people thoroughly dislike her Deadly series, but I look forward to each new book. So sue me 😉 I picked up Dead by Dusk by Shannon Drake and as a gift for a friend, one of those cute picture books that Mel likes so much; The Meaning of Life by Bradley Trevor Grieve.
I actually only bought one book for myself at Barnes and Noble; Bitten – the anthology with LKH, MJD, Charlaine Harris, Angela Knight,and one other author whose name I can’t recall 🙁 I started that one at the doctor’s office and since I had to wait an hour and a half, I’m halfway through it. I got Brianna 3 little board books for us to read at bedtime. They’re so cute. I just love being able to buy her books and she gets almost as many as I do these days!
But I got distracted in Barnes and Noble. Happened upon a display of two poetry books, both edited by Daisy Goodwin ; 101 Poems That Could Save Your Life and 101 Poems To Get You Through The Day(and Night) I had a few minutes to kill so I browsed through them. The premise is that the editor, Ms. Goodwin has selected poems to fit different times or themes. Like sex. Yeah, for when you’re trying to get in the mood. Like this poem by Selima Hill:
A SMALL HOTEL
My nipples tick
like little bombs of blood.
Someone is walking
in the yard outside.
I don’t know why
Our Lord was crucified.
A really good fuck
makes me feel like custard.
Or this one by e.e. cummings
may I feel
may i feel said he
(i’ll squeal said she
just once said he)
it’s fun said she
(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she
(let’s go said he
not too far said she
what’s too far said he
where you are said she)
may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she
may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you’re willing said he
(but you’re killing said she
but it’s life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she
(tiptop said he
don’t stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she
ummm said she)
you’re divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)
But there were also poems for when things just aren’t working out. Although…it seems like things worked out just fine for the two in this verse 😉
cake by Roger McGough
i wanted one life
you wanted another
we couldn’t have our cake
so we ate each other
My little Popeye!
It’s MY Lovey!
There’s lots of room on mom’s lap…