For those of you who don’t have a MIL, you might be wondering what “IT” is. For those of you who do have a MIL, you probably don’t want to read any further. I wouldn’t want to dredge up bad memories and recurring nightmares.

No really, I think my MIL – her name is Susanne but seeing as how this is a public blog, I probably shouldn’t name her by name *snicker*- is a delightful woman. Most of the time. But I liked her better when I was just plain Angie or Josh’s girlfriend. Yeah. I liked her alot better before I became Brianna’s Mommy. And she’s not the first MIL I’ve had so I know how MIL’s work and I like her much more than the previous model (we won’t even go there) but she is one of the few people in this world who can send me into an absolute tizzy with just a look. See, I’m telling you. The Mother-In-Law has it.

I finally decided after much debate back and forth that I was going to attend the RT convention. Without my daughter. I’m going to leave her in the….errrr….capable hands of her father. And my MIL. It’s only for four days (really there will only be two days where she won’t see me at all), she’ll be eating a combination of solid foods and breastmilk by then, and I figure I can survive for just that long without her. And, of course, my MIL is beside herself with joy that she’ll get the baby to herself (technically there are 5 other people that live in that house so she’ll have to share the joy) for 8 hours a day for several days in a row.

So, I’m thinking “yay. Let’s buy the plane ticket. Sign me up for the companion pass. I’m going to St. Louis to sit on Charlie’s lap and to stroke Sire Don’s floggers.” Uh-huh. Then the MIL did it. She told me she thinks Brianna should start spending a whole day with her every week. To get to know them (forget the fact that the girl is there 3-4x a week for several hour stretches) After all, Brianna’s Mommy, “she’s going to be traumatized enough not having you around. We wouldn’t want to traumatize her more.”

Anything after that was heard like the teacher in the Peanuts cartoons…”muahmuah muah muah muah….muah muahmauh”

So now I’m convinced that I’m going to scar my daughter for life if I leave her for 4 days to selfishly persue something that’s just for me. I saw it in my MIL’s face. I heard it in her voice as she expresssed disbelief that I was going. And the message came through loud and clear when I was informed that she was going to be traumatized. I’m surprised she didn’t tell me to start looking for therapists for my daughter now, because she’s clearly going to need them with a Mommy like me.

Now who’s traumatized?

Yes, with that sentence, my MIL sent me right back to square one and into indecision. I don’t believe anyone else could have done that. She’s a crafty woman, my MIL. But her evil plan went awry. Because she’s not getting my .5 for a whole day a week (that’s a whole other blog though) and now…well, she’s probably not getting Brianna for 4 days either. Because as soon as I can convince myself that doing something fun and leaving my daughter is a good idea and won’t cost me thousands of dollars when she’s 15 and telling her therapist “it’s all because my mom went to St. Louis to hang out with the other Playmates when I was just a small, defenseless, needy six month old. No, not Hugh Hefner’s playmates. Who’s Hugh Hefner? Charlie’s Playmates. No, not the guy from Charlie’s Angels. Dumbass. He’s not a real person. Charlie. You know, the guy that’s married to that famous author Jaci Burton.Can we talk about ME now? Sheesh. You adults are all the same.” Yeah, as soon as I can convince myself my daughter won’t be having that conversation with her therapist, Josh is going to take vacation days so HE can have 4 days with his daughter.

And for those of you who are still wondering what “IT” is, you clearly don’t have a MIL. Or you are one yourself and you’ve blanked all this out so as not to disrupt your evil powers.

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