In blog hopping I’ve found that some of the most interesting, high traffic sites are those that are “snarky.” Like Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels and Snarkywood(I know it’s snarky cuz it says so in the title).

But what does it mean, really? To be snarky?

Dictionary.com:

any kind of unexplained or threatening
event on a computer (especially if it might be a boojum).
Often used to refer to an event or a log file entry that might
indicate an attempted security violation.

Nooo… not quite what I was looking for.

From infopleas:

Pronunciation: (snรคrk), [key]
โ€”n.
a mysterious, imaginary animal.

LOL. Really? (Upon further research, it appears we can thank Lewis Carroll for this reference. Learn something new everyday)

By far, the site Wikipedia had the most comprehensive list of definitions for snark that I could see. I won’t bore you with them all but who knew?

So snark: Snark refers to a pejorative style of speech or writing. It could loosely be described as irritable or “snidely derisive”; hence, ‘snarkish’, ‘snarky’, ‘to snark at somebody’. It could less politely be described as ‘bitchy’.

Hahahaha. That was a great definition. But now I’m even more depressed.

Because I’m snarkless. When they were handing out the snarky quality, I was obviously in a different line. Maybe the one for extra impatience. Or even more likely: extra cellulite.

I can be sarcastic. I can be quirky and knowledgeable (even though I had to look up how to correctly spell knowledgeable – and as long as I’m confessing I’ll tell you that I also had to look up what pejorative meant). Hell, I can even be bitchy. But damnit, I’m bitchy in a way that’s sooo not snarky. It’s just bitchy. And suddenly, it seems like all the cool kids are snarky. And I’ve been relegated to feeling like I ride The Short Bus. Special in my own way but I won’t be getting invited to any playdates with the popular bloggers ๐Ÿ˜‰ They won’t want to be sidebar buddies with me (sounds kinky, doesn’t it?)

In todays glut of blogs, everyone is scrambling to make theirs interesting, captivating, and often, yes, snarky enough to earn a place on someone’s sidebar. Remember that Jerry Seinfeld episode where Jerry was trying to be #1 on his girlfriend’s speed dial? He ended up being disguised on the “poison control” button. “Hey, that’s even better than being first!” In our age of internet technology, being on someone’s sidebar under “Blogs I Hop”, “Must Read Blogs”, or “Blogs I Love” is the new first on the speed dial (kind of like “pink is the new black” but that’s a whole other blog}. Bloghoppers love their snark.

But after much soul searching, gnashing of my teeth, and tuneless wailing, I have come to the conclusion that I am not snarky. And it doesn’t seem to be something one learns but something that you come by naturally. So it appears I’m doomed to remain snarkless I guess I’ll just have to settle for having the most beautiful baby pictures. I can be known as The Snarkless Bitch with the Most Beautiful Baby. And being bitchy, I could be appropriately placed under poison control in the sidebar. My own special place. Take that snarky bloggers. I got something better- I got poison control!

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