Anatomy of a love song…

Painting sucks. Let me say it again. Painting sucks. I think the fumes are affecting my brain 😉 In case you’re wondering, we’re painting the interior of our new house. The ENTIRE interior. The only thing not getting repainted is the ceilings. And we are doing the kitchen ceiling in this cool fresco/copper technique but that’s another story. I’ve heard a lot of radio during the days we’ve been painting. The other day, this song by Heart came on the radio. If you’re at all an 80’s fan, you’ve heard this song and probably love it like I do. But suddenly, the paint fumes, as I said, twisted my brain, and I started really thinking about what the song is saying…

ALL I WANNA DO IS MAKE LOVE TO YOU
Sung by Heart
Written by Robert John “Mutt” Lange

It was a rainy night when he came into sight
Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat

Okay, so it’s dark outside, presumably a little chilly, and this bright bulb has no protection against the elements?

So I pulled up along side and I offered him a ride
He accepted with a smile so we drove for a while

And this woman, driving by herself, picks up a hitchhiker. Good idea. (and later in the song we find that our two geniuses have procreated. The mind shudders.)

I didn’t ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rain

Yeah, I wouldn’t want to know the name of my potential murderer either.

Fate tell me it’s right, is this love at first sight

Love? For all you know this guy has his mother’s head buried in his backyard and you think you might be in love with him? Puh-lease.

Please don’t make it wrong, just stay for the night

Wait, wait! I thought she might be in love with him and now she only wants him for one night? Man, she’s fickle.

All I wanna do is make love to you
Say you will you want me too
All I wanna do is make love to you
I’ve got lovin’ arms to hold on to

I guess it’s nicer than saying she wants to f**k

So we found this hotel, it was a place I knew well

I’m thinking she must be a hooker if she knows this hotel so well(maybe she shoulda called it a motel instead). Either that or she just cruises the strip pickin’ up hitchhikers every night and gettin’ her jollies on.

We made magic that night. Oh, he did everything right>

He cleaned the house, mowed the lawn, and gave her a footrub??

He brought the woman out of me, so many times, easily

Muahahahaha…so many comments, all uncouth. I’m going to keep them to myself.

And in the morning when he woke all I left him was a note

Thanks for the f**k. For a good time call…

I told him I am the flower you are the seed
We walked in the garden we planted a tree

Yeah, umm… what?

If this is some hippy way of saying you’re pregnant, isn’t it a little soon to be making that announcement?

Don’t try to find me, please don’t you dare

Dude. Why would he want to? It sounds like he did all the work. And then you didn’t even leave money. You left a note written in some vague, botanical terms. He’s probably thanking God that he didn’t have to do the uncomfortable morning after routine with you.

Just live in my memory, you’ll always be there

Whatever you sleazy ho, you don’t even know his name. He’s just one in a long line.

All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All wanna do is make love to you
I’ve got lovin’ arms to hold on to

Yeah, yeah, we got that part. Next.

Oh, oooh, we made love
Love like strangers
All night long
We made love

Translation: We f**ked like bunnies and I prayed the whole time that he didn’t notice my ass fat jiggling.

Then it happened one day, we came round the same way
You can imagine his surprise when he saw his own eyes

Oh damn. It’s a secret baby story.

I said please, please understand
I’m in love with another man

What??! What happened to the love at first sight she mentioned earlier? And if she’s so in love with some other guy, what’s she doing playing hide the salami with this one?

And what he couldn’t give me
was the one little thing that you can

Oh? It was little? Whatever happened to not kissing and telling? Talk about a blow to this guy’s ego..

Oh wait- she means a kid.

All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All I want to do is make love to you
Come on, say you will, you want me too

All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All I want to do is make love to you
Say you will, you want me too

All night long …

Bunnies. Bunnies. Bunnies. Boink. Boink. Boink.

What’s your secret?

I have a bunch of things I want to blog about, but I’m to lazy to do it so instead I’m going to send you to this blog that my friend Erin shared. It’s quite fascinating. If you’re like me, you’ll find yourself wondering what secret you would share. I have nothing. No really, I couldn’t think of a thing. Anyone else?

PostSecret

***edited to add: some of these are really sad and make me thankful that my life is so…complete. I’d like to give a large portion of these people a hug.

Can I give away an ebook I’ve never read?

I’ve been browsing my ebook files and looking at what I have, what I’ve read, and what I plan on reading. And I have a few ebooks that I know I will probably never get to reading. Kind of like some of the books on my bookshelves. But with those, I know it’s no big deal- I can send them to a friend, donate them to the library, sell them at a yard sale, or give them to Goodwill (I’d have included the UBS option in there but none of the UBS in my area carry romance dammit). But what do I do with an ebook I don’t have any intention of reading?

Very few of the ebooks I’m referring to are ones I’ve purchased. They’re books I’ve won in various contests. I’m wondering, since the intention of the giveaway was to potentially hook a new reader, and I’m not looking to be that reader, could I pass it on to someone who might appreciate it more than me? My intention would be to give it away and delete it from my computer. I feel like this should be okay, since I know I’m an honest person, but I can hear ebook authors screaming their protests already.

I’m completely against the resale of ebooks in any way, shape, or form but I’m not talking about making a profit. I’m talking about giving away something that I myself got for free. I’d really like to do this. I have a few friends who have limited budgets and might appreciate new reading material. And who are loyal readers if hooked into an author. And it seems a shame that the books not get used for their intended purpose.

Are there any readers or authors out there who care to give me their opinion?

I’ve got a new look!

Well, at least my blog does. If only I could find something as cute to do with my hair 😉 I was inspired to get a new blog skin after seeing the fun one that Alyssa got from Ciao!My Bella!. I am very thankful to Mia, who worked with me and listened when I said I didn’t like something. She was quite patient and came up with this wonderful and fun new blog look! I hope you all like it and find it easier to read.

Thanks Mia!

If you’re interested in getting your own blog updated, it’s not too late to take advantage of the buy one get one free special that they are offering for Blogspot for the month of May.

A cry for help…

No really, this is serious!

I have chapped lips. They’ve been chapped for weeks. I’ve invested in several products which don’t seem to be helping. Can anyone out there recommend something that will work? I’d be eternally grateful. I don’t care if it’s expensive. I got some stuff from Bath and Body Works that was $12 and seems to be making my lips more chapped. Please, someone, help me out!

And yes, chapped lips are too serious.

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