It sounds so sordid, doesn’t it? LOLOL!!

Well, as many of you have had to listen to lately, I have been proclaiming (whining) long and loud about my book budget being reduced now that the dreaded and much anticipated (yes, it’s both) mortgage payment has kicked in. It’s not as if I don’t have enough books in my TBR boxes to keep me occupied for the next year. But what about all of those new releases that I just have to have and can’t possibly live without? How can I possibly be expected to read only books that are old 😉

And then, a friend suggested using the library. Umm. Yeah. See, I used to be a frequent visitor of the library. I loved the library and it loved me. Because I fricking supported that place with my overdue fines. I could have bought those books 5x over with the money I paid in fines. Is it clear to you yet that I have a problem with returning library books? Something to do with my tendency to procrastinate, my dislike of HAVING to read something because there’s a deadline, and sheer laziness (hey, at least I’m honest). So, I recognized several years ago that the library and I needed to part ways. And it wasn’t as ridiculous as it might sound (not really) because at that point, I was living in small towns that didn’t get much in the way of what I wanted to read anyhow. And I was making pretty good money and books were pretty much my only vice (especially once I gave up smoking).

My how times have changed. Now, there’s no job with a fat paycheck, there’s Brianna (food, clothes, diapers, toys…), and suddenly, it’s looking like I’m going to have to rekindle my romance with the library. Oh the angst. The emotional turmoil. Fate is so fickle. This means I have to read books in a timely manner (uh huh), return them when they’re due, and pray like mad that the library actually has what I want. And there won’t always be instant gratification 🙁

I have realized that the library does make sense for many books. I mean, certainly not every book is going to be a keeper. And if it is, I can always get it used. And it’s not a bad idea to re-establish my relationship with the library now, in preperation for the day when my daughter can truly learn to enjoy all the library has to offer. We’d already started on this road with the library’s laptime for babies, which Brianna loves, before I even realized that I was actually going to have to utilize their book lending services again.

Maybe this is one of those turning points into responsible, adult parental life that I have to take. I sure am going to miss being able to buy any books I want! But not as much as I’d miss seeing my daughter’s newest funny face during the day if I decided to go back to work just so I can buy books. Some things aren’t worth the cost.

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