Now, before you accuse me of being some sort of hater because I’m declaring my lack of love for the little red monster, let me explain.

Brianna has always adored Elmo. His name was one of her first words. We have a number of stuffed Elmos and Elmo figurines strewn about the house. I don’t mind. He’s cute in a vaguely annoying way (if you have to actually watch him on TV for any length of time). And he makes Brianna laugh. Always a good thing, right?

Well, yesterday Brianna came home from a night spent at my in-laws with Rock and Roll Elmo in tow. In 24 hours since her return home, she hasn’t let this Elmo out of her sight unless forced. And then only with tears and trembling lower lip. We ran errands last night and Elmo rode in the car with us. Oh the drama when he had to stay in the car while we went into the store!

[photopress:Elmo.jpg,thumb,pp_image]To top off the attachment, Elmo has two fatal flaws. One, this thing is old dammit. Like ten years old. And if you look at his picture and see the funky black coat he’s wearing? Well, it’s made out of some sort of weird vinyl cloth that’s DECOMPOSING. There are little pieces of this crap everywhere. Stuck to Brianna, me, toys and my TAN micro-suede couches. And it doesn’t appear to be coming off any time soon. I even tried vacuuming Elmo to get the damn coat to finish shedding but that didn’t work at all.

The second fatal flaw is that Elmo has no off switch. Let me give you a hint. Rock and Roll Elmo? He plays Rock and Roll. Loudly. And I did mention that Brianna won’t let him out of her sight, right? Well guess what doesn’t mix with a napping baby…yep. You guessed it. Rock and Roll Elmo. :pengydie: It’s bad enough that I have to hear him going all day long, but when I hear him go off only an hour into what is normally a 2 to 2 1/2 hour nap, well, I’m not bound to have fond feelings towards the little sh…monster.

My only hope is this: Brianna is going to spend the weekend with my in-laws tomorrow while Josh and I go out of town. My MIL requested that we bring Elmo back (as if Brianna would go without him. Ha!) I’m going to pray that she gets over her obsession over the weekend, and that Elmo doesn’t make the return trip home with us Sunday. But if you hear about some crazy woman senselessy slaughtering a harmless red monster…mount a collection for my defense fund, would you?

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