People who have children in hopes it will pull their marriage/relationship with significant other together and make it stronger. Nuts, I’m telling you, nuts! I can’t imagine what these people are thinking. Having a child is a strain on a relationship, because it changes things, gives you less time to concentrate on each other, and gives you one more thing to argue about. And that’s really what this post is about *grin*
I’m telling you, Josh and I don’t fight often, but since Brianna came, it usually centers around her. And you know, it’s not the stuff I think parents sometimes fight about, like one of us has to do more for the baby than the other, or he doesn’t spend enough time with her or anything like that. We share parenting duties pretty equally, considering I stay home with her during the week. He does bathtime and bedtime every night, and spends more time with her on the weekends. So it’s not those things, noo…we fight about bedtime. I’m serious, this has been an ongoing arguement between for…at least a year, I’ll bet. What time should bedtime be?
All the reading, all the advice I’ve seen says bedtime should be earlier versus later. I liked 7:30 as a bedtime. Josh wanted to push it back and push it back. I recently compromised at 8pm. Now, I have to clarify. Brianna gets up once during the night. I don’t mind it too much. It’s the only time we still nurse. She’s weaned otherwise. But when she goes to her Mima and Poppy’s, she sleeps through the night. I think it’s because she knows I’m not there and can’t nurse. Josh thinks it’s because they let her stay up until 9pm. But she doesn’t sleep any later in the morning. Here, she gets up at 7am. There, she gets up at 6:30 or earlier (sometimes as early as 5:30).
So last night, we went through the same…discussion…again. She stayed up until 8:30pm. Josh got up with her when she woke up (and yes, she woke up) because I’m taking medicines for the next few days that don’t allow me to nurse. She woke up at 7am. No sleeping in. Of course, one night doesn’t prove anything, Josh says, so her waking up doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. The flaw in his logic? He’s going by the one night at a time incidents of her sleeping through the night at his mom and dad’s. I think I’m right, and that she can go to bed early AND sleep through the night…if I completely wean her. If she knows she won’t get nursed in the middle of the night. Josh thinks he’s right, that a later bedtime will do the trick. Not only do I think he’s wrong, but I don’t agree with my 20 month old having a 9pm bedtime. For one thing, I look forward to bedtime *grin* and for another, I think she needs as much sleep as she can get, even that extra hour between 8 and 9.
That’s where we’re at. Day one. Of course, I probably shouldn’t bitch because there are plenty of fathers who don’t care about their children’s bedtime as long as it doesn’t interfere with their routine. Did I mention that Josh is a fabulous father? And I say that with all seriousness. I think he had a great role model with his dad, and it shows. There’s nothing I can think of that I’d change about the type of father he is. Brianna and I are lucky 🙂