This is nothing but a bitch and whine post, don’t say I didn’t warn you 🙂

This week has been…stressful. I had my schedule for editing planned out, wanted to clear my August edits off my desk before August actually starts, putting me in a nice comfort zone in my schedule. Because of something I’m working on, that took three days of my time away from my schedule, that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. I was really stressing about this on Monday and Tuesday, because it’s a long book and I was under a major time crunch (through no fault of my own).

I was supposed to go out for mom’s night out on Tuesday, but that got cancelled, which was partly good, since I used the time to work and prepare for my playdate, and partly bad, because I probably could have used the break.

I was also stressed because I was trying to get my house/yard ready for the playdate I was hosting on Wednesday. Not like, spit-polishing, but just the general cleaning one does before a playdate. More time from my work schedule. I thought about cancelling but decided against it. I should have cancelled and saved myself some stress. Only one mom showed up, and while we had a great visit and our daughters (who are only 2 weeks apart in age) played hard for a few hours, it was still difficult to realize that I’d taken time from my work schedule, which is tight this week, to organize a playdate no one attended. *sigh* I’m not going to be doing that again in the near future because it’s not really practical for me to do so, work wise. It’s easier for me to just go to one, rather than do the prep to host one. (although I owe a HUGE thanks to my fantastic husband for working so hard to get the lawn mowed and picked up, and get the house in sem-order with me. Loveyou–said quickly and run together, lol)

I’m really struggling with the whole balancing being a work-at-home-mom thing. Trying to fit two full time jobs into the day, and trying not to feel too guilty about “neglecting” one to do the other. So far, I don’t think I’ve permanently scarred Brianna in any way, lol, but I swear, that mommy guilt is a powerful, powerful thing. Like I should spend my days planning activities for her, filling her time and devoting 100% of my attention to her all day, like some mothers do. Eep.

Now I’m back to working on my books, having cleared the book from the first part of my week away, but I’m still looking at short deadlines for some other final line edits I need to do for new editors. I’m wondering WHEN I’m going to do those and still meet my own deadlines. It’s frustrating, how this week hasn’t worked out for me. I should know better than to set expectations for my schedule, because something always comes up, but I’m feeling discouraged about my own cushion in my schedule being eaten away and I’ve made some decisions to give myself breathing room in the future (and I don’t think the schedule pile-up that occurred–again through no fault of my own–should ever happen again, *fingers crossed*)

I have been logging off early, though, because I’m finding my brain is on overload if I try to push it to late and I can’t concentrate. So it’s better for me to give up that time and do somethign fun. I’ve read a few books this week and that’s been nice. I’ll have to blog about those…uh…soon.

And to end this post on a high note, a picture of Brianna 🙂


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